If you haven't noticed yet, bullying in the tween & teen years is happening....and happening hard. It's getting a lot of attention lately thanks to the hard work of awareness advocates, whistle blowers & young adults sharing their own personal stories.
I developed a bully management method called SARCASM & CONFUSION because I was tired of seeing so many kids suffering at the words of a bully and feeling like there was nothing they could do. A lot of adults will tell them to 'Ignore it, it will eventually go away' or 'Tell an adult'; except those things don't work!! Ignoring a bully doesn't make the bully go away, it gives the bully power because kids don't know how to ignore in an assertive, dismissive fashion (that needs to be taught). Telling an adult leads to more trouble because the only way for an adult to handle it when it's reported is to talk to the bully; in which case the target of a bully then gets bullied more for being a 'rat' and 'tattling'.
Managing a bully with SARCASM & CONFUSION is one of THE most effective ways to manage a bully when it's used the way I designed it to be used. I teach kids how to be sarcastic towards their bully with the goal of confusing said bully to the degree the bully will stop; but WITHOUT becoming a bully themselves. I also explain that bully's bully for a reason, most bully's are wounded individuals who have been bullied themselves and have learned to use bullying in order to cope and/or meet their own needs. It's important to hold compassion for a bully, but it's also important to command respect, set boundaries and assert oneself. Most bully's cannot respond to assertive responses. When bully's bully, it's for power, control, status, esteem and attention, which they achieve when their target walks away upset, crying or even tries ignoring it.
There are two objectives to keep SARCASM & CONFUSION a positive bully management tool: 1. Don't use SARCASM & CONFUSION to become a bully; it is meant to be used in response to a bully attack, not to initiate an attack. 2. Keep it simple! Short and sweet.
The following are the pillars of SARCASM & CONFUSION: 5 verbal responses to a bully attack, but remember it's not the words that matter as much as how they are delivered: sarcastically & assertively for optimal confusion. 1. "You're Welcome" 2. "Thank You" 3. "I knew I was your favorite" or say the first thing that comes to mind "Because centaurs don't have wings". Below are some video's showcasing the different responses: If you are interested in learning more, please contact me via phone: 920-944-8118 or email at: email@example.com